Russell Crowe launches bank

Action star Russell Crowe is to launch a new career in finance today with the opening of a chain of high street banks.

CreditCrowe, with branches in Crewe, Crowborough, Crawley, Crawford and Crowland, aims to bring what the company prospectus terms ‘Russell Crowe’s values’ to the banking world.

‘That means toughness,’ the promotional material continues, ‘and fairness, more toughness, courage, a jaw-dropping comeback against overwhelming odds and, if necessary, yelling. People don’t trust banks any more, but they trust Russell. They know he means business.’

As well as offering the usual financial products and services, the key innovation at CreditCrowe is the ‘Note of Valour’.

“The Note of Valour is just like a pound note,” explains Chief Operating Officer Mick Beguyer, “only when you come to me and you say ‘Mick, mate, I’m flat broke, I’ve run out of pound notes’, I will issue you with Notes of Valour. You can spend them at participating stores and redeem them by a simple, audited act of valour. Like repelling the Visigoths. Or boxing when you have brain damage.”

Russell Crowe isn’t the only actor moving into this sector, and it would seem that celebrity banks are to set become a familiar sight. Swanks Bank, backed by actress Hilary Swank, will open branches across Canada in 2011.

As well as mortgage and credit facilities, it boasts a ‘Million Dollar Baby’ account that will make credit available to the infants of the super rich.