Astronomers claim newly-discovered galaxy is ‘sarcastic’

Astronomers analysing high-definition images from the Hubble Space Telescope claim that a far-distant galaxy is moving ‘sarcastically.’

Galaxy G671, which is 40 million light years from Earth, is said to describe a ‘sneery’ elliptical orbit compared to the more circular orbits of galaxies nearby.

NASA’s Professor Steve Twain, who has studied the images in detail, presented his findings at the Hubble Research Conference in Zurich.

“It’s very difficult to pinpoint precisely,” he said, “but my team and I agree that G671 has a discernable attitude. It may be the arrogant 600 kilometre per second relative speed, or the disdainful emission of radio waves from an estimated 450 million smart-alec pulsars. We don’t like what we’re seeing.”

An electromagnetic spectrum analysis of the snarky galaxy has begun and Twain fears the worst: “I’ve got a feeling that when we get detailed statistics on the medium infra-red band wavelengths on this thing we’re going to find them unbearably trenchant, maybe even derisive.”