Woman weds fake profile she met on Facebook

Jasper. Updated March 30th, 2011

Science and Tech News: After a whirlwind engagement, Sharon Cox of Romford, Essex has become the loving wife of a spam-generating Facebook profile she met on the internet. It is the first marriage for Sharon, 37, and for her new husband Doctr Viaggrra Rappid Errect Now!, after accepting his friend request two and a half weeks ago on the popular social-networking site.

“It happened so fast,” gushed Cox-Rappid Errect Now!, speaking after a small wedding ceremony attended by her grandmother, pet hamsters Cheryl and Jordan, and a reluctant Anglican minister.

The bridegroom, Doctr Viaggrra Rappid Errect Now!, was in attendance courtesy of a long power extension cable and a Dell laptop.

“One moment Doctr Viaggrra was posting on my wall, asking me if I wanted to increase my girth with lightening speed. Before I knew it he was sending me romantic direct messages saying that he had ‘the only Doctr approved HerbalEnlargement Pill that has been PROVEN in Clinical Trials.’ But I was already into him. To be honest, he had me at ‘increased girth’.”

The happy bride explained how the relationship grew: “The more I responded to his advances, the more he contacted me – it was clear from the outset he wanted to be an important part of my life.

“Within a day he’d emailed everyone in my address book from my own account letting them know who he was. It was a bit cheeky, but I like a man who knows what he wants. And the way he hacked into my online banking service, working out my passwords and pin codes shows that he really, really knows me, you know?”

However, Cox-Rappid Errect Now! insists she is aware of the prejudice the happy couple might face: “I was in Costa Coffee with Doctr Viaggrra recently, working out the final wedding plans, and the barista had the audacity to tell me to put the laptop away because we were upsetting other customers.”

“If in this day and age, a woman can’t even passionately kiss her fiancée in public, with some medium-to-heavy petting, then frankly I worry for our future.”