Royal Family will be sponsored by Lidl

Royal Wedding News: With some commentators putting the cost of security alone at £20 million, George Osborne struck back at critics of the Royal wedding today, announcing a new sponsorship deal that will ‘more than reimburse the taxpayer’ for public expenditure on the big day.

The Chancellor went on to to deny that this was tantamout to ‘a knee-jerk privatisation’ of the monarchy, insisting that all the Windsors went to private school and indeed had been ‘really quite private’ for a very long time.

Lidl, the cut-price supermarket, famous for it’s cheap aubergines, two-for-one shoe deals and iconic positioning between Halfords and Comet, will sponsor the Royal family on a rolling contract, effective from September.

The £150 million deal, which includes Lidl branding on the coat of arms, exclusive store appearances, advertising, and the relaunch of their own-brand mince as ‘Windsor Mince’, was thrashed out during lengthy negotiations between Buckingham Palace, Whitehall and Lidl management.

“Ultimately we are a family brand,” says CEO Chris Nult, “so who better than the ultimate family? We are very excited about this parntership, and particuarly the televison adverts. It’s going to be like the OXO family, only with more hereditary illness.”

While Will, Kate and the Queen are understood to be at the forefront of the campaign, insiders say that Prince Philip has been asked to ‘stay away’.

“Casual racism and prostate difficulties are not the values we wish to promote,” said one executive who wished to remain nameless. “That’s more Aldi’s cup of tea.”