West Ham do a runner in the middle of the night

Football News: Beleaguered club West Ham grabbed all their stuff and fled the country last night, leaving nothing but a massive hole where they used to be.

The recently relegated team, who have sacked manager Avram Grant and are reportedly on the edge of financial collapse, is said to have quickly thrown some clothes into a sports bag and packed up their Boleyn Ground stadium at around 3am last night – slinging the bag in the boot of a waiting car and strapping the stadium to the roof rack.

It is thought they then made their way to Dover and boarded a ferry to Calais.

“I’m shocked.” said one Hammers fan.

“I knew things were bad and everyone was a bit down, but I thought the team would focus, rebuild and come back stronger next season. I didn’t expect them to do a runner – only last week I lent them the Jurassic Park DVD box set and I don’t suppose I’ll be getting that back in a hurry.”