Murdoch relaunches NOTW in Syria

World News: While News International faces increasing pressure to explain the depth of illegal practices as the BskyB bid drifts further out of reach, it wasn’t all doom and gloom for the Murdochs today: The News of The World has relaunched in Syria.

“I am very proud to have this honourable newspaper in our country,” President Assad told a press conference this morning.

“While the British may not have the balls for such dynamic journalism, we in Syria are very much in favour of it, especially at this crucial time in our history.”

“The link between government, the media, the police, the secret police and the very secret police has never been closer – exactly the fertile atmosphere that a brave and pioneering title like the News of The World requires in order to get to the truth.”

“I have offered Mrs. Brooks and Mr. Coulson senior positions in my Department of Truth and, judging by how things are going for them in England at the moment, I am confident they will accept.”

“The opportunity, here in Syria, for the brand of energetic journalism that they have worked so hard to make famous, is wonderful and exciting – as is the golf. Long live the News of the World! Long live Syria!”