Brian Cox warns younger self of time travel dangers

Cox News: In an open letter published in Physics Today, Brian Cox (65) has warned Brian Cox (43) of the dangers of meddling with quantum reality.

Cox senior proposes a hypothetical ‘thought experiment’ to Cox junior, which he insists is necessary “to avoid universe-destroying temporal paradoxes occurring should a living being become aware of his forbidden dual existence within a shared continuum.”

“Imagine a scenario,” writes Cox, “in which a young physicist becomes privy to the Promethean knowledge of the Higgs Boson particle.

Imagine that this insight leads him to the epoch-shattering discovery of time travel. Imagine that after a blinding flash and an eerie whoosh he finds himself not in a research laboratory at the University of Manchester in the year 2012, but instead all beardy and shivering in a kilt on a bleak hillside in 1994, surrounded by a film crew and extras, being yelled at by a blue-faced Mel Gibson. Or chasing Matt Damon around Paris. I can say no more. Only this: the circle must be completed.”

Brian Cox junior was unavailable for comment today. Colleagues at his laboratory said they were ‘strangely unable to locate him’ despite the fact that an open copy of Physics Today was found on his desk, along with a mug of tea that was ‘still warm.’

Story: Michael Brett