Russell Brand ready to resume prolific shagging

Celebrity News: Comedian and actor Russell Brand has confirmed that he’s feeling much better after the end of his 14-month marriage to singer Katy Perry, and is now ready to resume some prolific shagging.

“It’s time for me to get back on the saddle,” Brand joked at a recent film premiere. “Literally, in my case. Did you know I once had sex with a girl sitting on top of a horse? My God, I’ve had so much sex. And now I’m ready to have tons more!”

36-year-old Brand, who was granted a divorce from Perry in February, has yet to detail exactly how much shagging he plans to do, though he has hinted it will ‘be loads’ and he’s likely to end up with a ‘raw willy’ from all the sex.

“Despite the physical dangers, I plan to fully commit to loads of shagging,” promised Brand. “After all, those women won’t shag themselves!”

“Or maybe they will, and I could watch. Whilst shagging someone else.”