Mayoral candidates to wrestle nude in front of fire

Nudity News: Ken Livingstone and Boris Johnson will wrestle fully nude in front of a roaring fireplace in order to decide who will be the next mayor of London.

“While Ken and I disagree over policy, we are both cultured men,” said Johnson. “And with the Olympics nearly here, we both agreed to keep the Mayoral election in the spirit of the games – and go head-to-head in a naked wrestling match, just as the ancient Greeks did.”

The Liberal Democrats’ candidate, Brian Paddick, is expected to stand idly by, in keeping with his party’s general attitude towards politics.

Critics have argued that the event will leave Londoners out of pocket, a fact the Labour candidate was quick to defend.

“The wrestling will be fully sponsored,” said Livingstone. “Bertolli will provide the olive oil that Boris and I will anoint our naked bodies with, while Waterstone’s have promised to keep the fireplace burning with some old Dan Brown books they can’t shift.”

Story: Simon Swatman