UK Sends Morris Dancers To Falklands To Reinforce Britishness

Island News: The UK is to send over 100 Morris Dancers to the Falklands in order to remind the islanders of their Britishness ahead of a referendum in March.

Downing Street made the decision after an open letter to David Cameron was published in the Guardian by Argentine President Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner.

President Fernandez also reportedly posted in the Guardian Soulmates dating section and bought a 6-in-1 Music Centre from the Guardian Reader Offers section.

The crack squad of Morris Dancers are expected to be air dropped onto the islands next week, and will spend the next two months going from door to door reminding Falklanders how great it is to be British. They are expected to distribute small jars of Branston pickle and DVD box sets of The Darling Buds of May.

“The sound of jingling Morris bells and the clack of wooden sticks will really drive home the feeling of Britishness to the people of the Falklands,” said David Cameron. “And if they even consider voting against the UK in March they should rest assured that those bells will be the last thing they ever hear.”

Story: Simon Swatman