New Xbox To Have ‘Offline Abuse’ Feature

Games News: Microsoft say the new Xbox will feature a ‘virtual’ teenage boy screaming abuse at you, to make it feel like multiplayer gaming even if you have no internet connection.

As with the iPhone virtual personal assistant Siri, Microsoft say the next generation of Xbox consoles will come with a virtual companion you can play with offline – ‘Tony’ will be a 13-year-old boy who screams homophobic abuse at you while you play.

 “Hearing other players while gaming is now an essential part of the Xbox experience,” said a spokesman for the company.

“Research shows that gamers play up to 80% more effectively if they are shrieked at by a furious teenage boy calling you a ‘fag’ or ‘cocksucker’ while playing. Now Tony will bring that technology to all games, even if you’re not connected to the web.”

Microsoft say the Xbox will come with Tony pre-installed and that further friends – including ‘Luke’ who repeatedly brags about sexual intercourse with your mother – will be available to download from the Xbox live Marketplace.