Estate Agents To Become Fully Self Aware By 2016

Property News: Experts predict that estate agents will reach full self awareness within three years, only to then drown themselves at the sheer horror of their existence.

Industry experts warn that if estate agents continue to develop human traits they run the risk of realising what bullshitting pricks they actually are, and will be overcome with the urge to immediately drown themselves in the nearest toilet.

“All the evidence suggests that by 2016 the UK will wake up one morning and find a lot of dead estate agents” said Dr. Malcolm Dům of the University of Essex. “Either by drowning or just drinking the contents of the fuel tank of their Foxton’s branded Mini.”

“If we don’t make urgent changes to arrest this self awareness, home buyers in the UK stand a very real chance of not being fed barefaced lies by an overly-cologned twat with a clipboard. Is this the kind of future we want our children to inherit?”