Facebook Outage Leaves Millions Unable To Vent

Tech News: A minor technical disruption to Facebook yesterday left millions of users unable to vent about things nobody else cares about.

“The date 21/10 will forever go down in infamy,” said one frustrated user. “I was just about to leave an angry comment about how hard it was to get some new Sennheiser headphones I’d bought out of their packaging, when I saw I couldn’t change my Facebook status. I couldn’t believe it – I ended up telling the barista in Costa Coffee about my predicament, and she clearly didn’t give a shit.”

“How else was I supposed to inform everyone that the chicken and smoked ham sandwich I had for lunch was rubbish?” said another user, furious with the social network.

“I tried yelling it at everyone in Sainsbury’s, but they just looked at me like I was a massive twat.”

Others spoke frankly of how the disruption had crippled their working day.

“I planned on spending the afternoon liking replies to my status update about people who use images as email signatures,” said one office worker. “But now I suppose I’ll have to do some work instead.”