Facebook To Purchase Royal Mail

Tech News: The social media giant has confirmed it will now buy the Royal Mail, in an continued attempt to control all forms of communication.

Facebook made headlines recently after agreeing to buy messaging service Whatsapp for £11 billion. Now it has continued the spending spree and will acquire the Royal Mail, in order to connect with older users who still use ‘analog communication methods’.

“Like traditional Facebook messaging, once we acquire the Royal Mail we shall be carefully reading all your letters and postcards in order to attach targeted advertising to them,” said a spokesman for Facebook.

The social network also says it will make your letters available to anyone to read, unless you can understand the new Royal Mail security settings they will implement soon. A comprehensive 364 page guide to the new settings will be available from most Post Offices.

“The purchase of the Royal Mail will give us an invaluable and relentless way into the homes of millions of people who, for some reason, don’t put every single aspect of their lives online and still cling to a foolish notion of privacy.”