Relationships With Brands ‘Easier Than Human Beings’

Human News: New research shows that it is now far easier to have a relationship with a brand than with a human being.

“Human beings are complicated, whereas brands are simple – they just want you to like them on social networks,” said relationship expert Dr. David Kendall, whose wife of twelve years recently left him after he repeatedly referred to their marriage as ‘some great content with a strong brand identity’.

The study by Dr. Kendall found that many people find relationships with brands less demanding, allowing them to be lazier and more self-absorbed than any human would.

“I’ve never had a happier, more fulfilling relationship,” said one man, who has been seeing South Korean electronics company Samsung for the last 18 months.

“They are always eager to connect with me and I’m at the centre of everything they do. The synergy is amazing, and they don’t nag me to tidy my flat or meet their parents. And I’ve never had to listen to them on the toilet.”