Guardian Reader Receives Lifetime Ban For Rusty Brompton Bike

Media News: A Guardian reader has received a lifetime ban from the paper after it was found he allowed his Brompton folding bicycle to get slightly rusty.

The unnamed man was sentenced at a recent tribunal, which heard that the minor signs of rust on his folding bike was the ‘last straw’ in unacceptable behaviour by the reader.

Previously he had received several written warnings about not taking a skiing holiday at Easter, as well as making disparaging comments about TV chef and Guardian columnist Yotam Ottolenghi.

“After much consideration, the tribunal handed down the most severe punishment possible,” said Alan Rusbridger, editor of the newspaper.

“We can only hope this serves as an example to other readers who consider straying from the Guardian path. If you ever shun spending a weekend in a yurt, or decide not to spend the duration of a dinner party discussing the benefits of seasonal vegetables, this will also happen to you.”