Daily Mail To Give Away Kate Middleton Wallpaper

Media News: The Daily Mail is to offer readers a free roll of wallpaper with Kate Middleton on it, helping them ‘become as psychotically obsessed with Kate as we are’.

“Anyone who has picked up a copy of the Mail recently may have noticed that it’s almost all wall-to-wall coverage of the Duchess of Cambridge,” said a spokesman for the paper.

“Now we are proud to give readers the chance to have that same wall-to-wall coverage in their own homes.”

If the Middleton wallpaper proves a hit with readers, the paper says it will take its obsession to the next terrifying level.

“We haven’t decided yet,” said a spokesman. “We may offer readers the chance to legally change their names to Kate Middleton. Or we might just abduct her, shave her head and give our readers a lock of her hair. That way they can feel even closer to the Duchess.”