Sex Spreadsheet Causes Marital Row

A marital row between an American couple about how much sex they not having, has developed into a full internet ding dong after the woman in question posted her husband’s “sex spreadsheet” on a Reddit relationship forum.

“My husband sent me an immature, inflammatory email as I was driving to the airport for a 10-day work trip. Now he has cut contact,” the post is entitled, under the name throwwwwaway29.

For Cnet.com, it is a sign that “we’re all data hounds now”. For attached to the “inflammatory email” was indeed a spreadsheet with three columns: DATE, SEX? and EXCUSE.

“She spread the spreadsheet out for the world to see. Its sheer normality might make it a deeply disturbing document for some.”

It’s the EXCUSE column that gets all the attention. “On several instances, the wife allegedly felt ‘gross’ and sometimes ‘sweaty,’” Cnet explains. There was also the recurring issue of wanting to watch her favourite show – a rerun of Friends.

The Daily Dot quotes the wife’s original post: “According to his ‘document’, we’ve only had sex 3 times in the last 7 weeks, out of 27 “attempts” on his part.” And is unimpressed by the husband’s behaviour. “One would imagine a person this petty and childish doesn’t deserve to get laid to begin with,” it observes.

However, the wife has according to her Reddit entries apparently spent 24 hours trying to get hold of her husband with no success “and spent last night crying herself to sleep”.

The Concourse isn’t going to let the man off the hook. “It’s never a good idea to voice your displeasure at where that fucks-per-month number currently sits via a passive aggressive email and a spreadsheet detailing your wife’s alleged frigidity,” it points out.

But it is opening up a whole new area of romantic contact. As one comment on Concourse demands: “Where are the pivot charts? No VBA? Not even a goddamn surface diagram.”