Disappointing Christmas 2014

We’re celebrating the flops, the let-downs and the disappointments in whatever form they come in – the miserable christmas party, the terrible tree, the crap present, the ungrateful kid, the grizzly grotto, the austerity street lights – or even those piss-poor corporate attempts to jolly up their shitty product.

We will also put other Christmas-related things in here.

Whatever your #disappointingxmas send us the pics and we’ll spread the cheer!

Day 25: Monday 22nd December

Fox presenter Kenny Alberts’ Christmas sweater has Frosty The Snowman sporting a Carrot Penis. 

# Saturday 20th December

An Etsy store is selling GlitterPills to help festive-up your poop, reports Design Taxi. 

‘You can choose from an assortment of 30 types of pills filled with different glitter colors—from colorful ombre, to elegant black and gold ones, and lovely glitter pills filled with luscious red glitter in pink topped capsules.’ 

Wednesday 17th December:

‘All the Home Alone Movies’

Santa scaled a statue in Glasgow before being bundled into a police van..

Day 23 Tuesday 9th December

The ‘mobile mistletoe drones’ dreamt up by American restaurant chain TGI Friday’s have drawn blood, rather than got customers kissing, reports happyplace.someecards.com.

The two mistletoe-laden drones flew around a Brooklyn restaurant in an attempt to get people to kiss, but instead caused injury by flying into their faces.

Day 22 Monday 8th December

This Santa tie is beautifully bleak.

Day 21: Friday 5th December

Seductive snowman wrongness.

Day 20: Thursday 4th December

Some people will spend Christmas alone this year, without any friends or family. But there’s no need for them to gloat about it.

— paul bassett davies (@thewritertype) December 4, 2014

MY EYES, MY EYES!

Is this Sussex’s most festive house? – http://t.co/6NFD4ctS1c pic.twitter.com/27BXM7col3 — Brighton Argus (@brightonargus) December 4, 2014

Bauble of the day

How much???

It’s horrible. But Michael Bublé farts on your Christmas present just before he gets to the front door. pic.twitter.com/FMMBeJUNv3

— Liz Buckley (@liz_buckley) December 3, 2014

If a tree gets decorated in a living room and nobody’s there to Instagram it, what’s the fucking point? — Chris (@ChribHibble) December 3, 2014

I don’t understand the sequence of events which would have led up to this photograph. pic.twitter.com/4XjrtcfIax

— Gary Bainbridge (@Gary_Bainbridge) December 1, 2014

    Day 19: Wednesday 3rd December   The Grinch that stole your Christmas lights..

  Day 18: Tuesday 2nd December   Looking to smarten up your festive wardrobe? Want to stand out from the herd? Oblivious to ridicule? You’ll be needing a Christmas suit.   The Telegraph reports ‘The suits are available on the American retro fashion website Shinesty, whose mission is “to bring you the most outlandish collection of clothing the world has ever seen”.     Day 17: Monday 1st December A Christmas tree suggestion for the lazy.

People on Twitter are opening their advent calendars…

Advent calenders aren’t as fun as they used to be. pic.twitter.com/KJEOLNlZ2R — JamieDMJ (@JamieDMJ) December 1, 2014

This year for an Advent calendar we’re just using the doors on our street. Opened the first one at midnight, it was an angry man in pyjamas. — Mr. M.J.Moth (@mothmun) December 1, 2014

Don’t you hate it when you can’t help but finish half the advent calendar before work on the 1st. pic.twitter.com/oXqV90idUJ — TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) December 1, 2014

Redittor McSassy posts “My roommate celebrates Christmas, I celebrate Hanukkah…we decided to build a compromise.”     Day 16: Sunday 30th November   Gonna put these on my Christmas tree shaped Christmas tree.

Day 15: Saturday 29th November   Do you suffer from Winter-induced ‘cold face’. There is a solution.

Day 14: Thursday 27th November   BBC Northern Ireland reports ‘A village Christmas tree has been replaced by council staff after complaints that it was one of the worst festive trees ever seen in the UK.’   ‘The tree was erected in the County Antrim village of Bushmills last Friday but within hours it had attracted a wave of criticism on social media and a Facebook page campaign.’ Three days later, the council replaced the tree. Day 13: Wednesday 26th November   Turkzilla!   Throughout recorded history, humans have reigned unchallenged as Earth’s dominant species – reports The Economist.   ‘Might that soon change? Turkeys, heretofore harmless creatures, have been exploding in size, swelling from an average 13.2lb (6kg) in 1929 to over 30lb today. On the rock-solid scientific assumption that present trends will persist, The Economist calculates that turkeys will be as big as humans in just 150 years.’     Day 12: Tuesday 25th November   Retailers – it’s important your window artist is given a decent brief.

Day 11: Monday 24th November   This kid nailed Christmas art class. The making of a genius.

Day 10: Saturday 22nd November   Bored of turkey?   Rusty Eulberg and his wife Jennifer Robledo wanted to add something a bit more adventurous to their Christmas dinner spread, so they created this edible Elder God that pays tribute to H.P. Lovecraft’s tentacled creature from “The Call of Cthulhu.“   “Jenny is a big fan of Cthulhu so we went and bought some crab legs and some octopus and bacon and cooked them all separate and slapped them together on a plate, and that was it,” Eulberg told Gothamist. “The next year I made a Cthicken; the same thing using squid instead of octopus and a chicken.”

PopCharts have designed a universal Greetings card which works for any occasion.   ‘Simply pick a preamble from the Y-axis and the occasion of note from the X-axis, fill in the appropriate square, and just like that you’ve got a personalised piece of correspondence that plots your truest feelings, be them enthused, ecstatic, or just ehhhh.’     Day 9: Friday 21st November It was only a matter of time before someone invented the ‘Multicultural Christmas Jumper.’ Now someone has. The politically correct monstrosity features several different signs of faith including; Christianity, Hinduism, Islam, Sikh, a form of scientific atheism, Chinese philosophy and also the peace sign.

Day 8: Thursday 20th November. Impress the Vicar this season with a charming Modern Toss Christmas card. Visit their shop here.   Day 7: Wednesday 19th November If your kids that are getting excited for Christmas, don’t forget to make an inappropriate date with Santa!

Day 6: Tuesday 18th November   Just when you thought the Ugg boot thing could’t get any worse – this happened.

SO FUCKING TIRED OF HAVING TO WEAR TWO SHOES. GIVE ME ONE MASSIVE UGG BOOT pic.twitter.com/07lfLiQrRI — John Brennan (@UpturnedBathtub) November 18, 2014

Passive aggressive personalised gifting is a thing this year.

Day 5: Monday 17th November Austerity hits the Fens. (Or possibly just poor signage.) 

Day 4: Saturday 15th November ‘Break Christmas Dinner!’

Day 3: Friday 14th November 2014 The Christmas canapés are in the shops

We had no idea – this is creepy…

Day 2: Thursday 13th November This nativity scene – once seen cannot be unseen

Day 1: Wednesday 12th November This Christmas sock display

# This Christmas Movie

# These roadside illuminations….