The Poke guide to the Chinese stock market crash explained in Bake Off moments

Finance is a worrying, baffling thing, full of numbers and shouting and the fact that it’s a fantasy construct that is meant to resemble real life, but seems to in no meaningful way. It’s like people who play Minecraft going on the news to explain what the increase in early-morning creeper attacks can tell us about the state of manufacturing in the North West.

It’s raining outside, and it’s cold and scary to think about the imminent collapse of society to the state where we’re eating irradiated rats, drinking our own urine, and having to watch Channel 5.

It’s no wonder we all love the Great British Bake Off. It celebrates what we British do best: endure horrid weather in tents.

But is it healthy to ignore current events in favour of currant events?

We at The Poke think not, so we’ve made you a guide to the Chinese stock market crash explained in Bake Off moments.

You are so very, very welcome.

By Nathaniel Tapley.