7 of the worst Christmas songs to ever bother your ears

Not feeling festive enough yet? Maybe you need some Christmas music to put you in the mood? In that case none of these yuletide atrocities will help.

1. Mr Blobby – Christmas In Blobbyland
Truly one of the darkest moments of 1995, if not the entire 20th century.

2. I Farted on Santa’s Lap (Now Christmas is Gonna Stink for Me) – The Little Stinkers
Release in 1998, not surprisingly it took another four years for it to appear on the US Billboard 100 singles chart.

3. The Cheeky Girls- Have A Cheeky Christmas
“Getting sexy in the snow, Yeah baby baby” sing the Cheeky girls, gleefully unaware of the very real effects of hypothermia and frostbite.

4. What Can You Get a Wookie for Christmas (When He Already Owns a Comb?) – Meco
A track from the 1980 album Christmas in the Stars: Star Wars Christmas Album, this is also notable for featuring the first professional recording of Jon Bon Jovi. And serves as a handy reminder that Star Wars is a franchise used to flog any old shit.

5. Tiny Tim – Santa Claus Has Got The AIDS
Tiny Tim claims he was referring to Ayds, a chocolate bar that was marketed as an appetite suppressant in the 1970’s/80’s. Even if that is true, it still doesn’t make any of this OK.

6. Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer – Elmo & Patsy
Recorded in 1979 by the then husband-and-wife duo of Elmo Shropshire and Patsy Trigg. Sadly they divorced in 1985 and it was probably all down to this song.

7. Crazy Frog – Last Christmas
A 2006 Crazy Frog cover of the classic Wham song. Needless to say the YouTube comments for this video stick to discussing the fact that you can see his little froggy penis.