This man made a “creative complaint” to Tesco and they gave him an equally creative reply
Dav Nash wasn’t happy about the strawberry & vanilla ice cream cones he bought from Tesco, so had a word with them on Facebook – in the style of a fantasy saga/fairy tale.
Once upon a time, a small indepedent store called Tesco crafted a very special Cornetto (of course, it was not a…
Posted by Dav Nash on Sunday, 3 April 2016
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Tesco replied to his complaint, and also one-upped the fantasy story stakes with a lengthy response that J. R. R. Tolkien or George R. R. Martin (anyone with double initials basically) would be proud of:
It reads:
Once upon a time a customer of the magical kingdom of Tescodonia bought some delicious strawberry & vanilla cones, but alas the gnomes from choccy village who make our chocolate based products was attacked by a vicious dragon and the chocolate was burned to a cinder. The customer was without one of the most vital ingredient in their cone, this was a tragic day in Tescodonia.
From the sherbet mountain a glimmering warrior appeared, a warrior that defends Tescodonia and all of its customers, this warrior was also on a massive sugar buzz. He rode down on his unicorn which kept on changing colour, a friend of the warrior, Sharbra, the fierce tiger, came to tell the warrior of the disaster which has struck. The warrior got rid of the unicorn as the changing colours gave him a headache. The warrior and Sharbra vowed to restore peace to Tescodonia and bring retribution to Dav, the mighty customer.
The warrior is me…
Sharbra and I, would like to inform the wizards who are the suppliers of the Free From products of Tescodonia and refund you. But first we need some information for this quest, can you supply me with the following:
*Name (if different to Facebook)
*Address
*Price paid
*Which store this was from
*Picture of date code
*Barcode
*Supplier code (starts with SC)
*Is it okay to pass these details to the supplier?With your help Sharbra and I can restore peace to Tescodonia, will you accept the quest Dav, the Cone King?
Till we meet again Dav, the Cone King
Stephen – Warrior of Tescodonia
Lets just hope the noble Complaint Warrior Stephen survived this battle, as Sensible Joanne the Slightly Boring Voice of Corporate Tesco Facebook took over. It was a power struggle that shall be sung about every night in feasting halls across the land. Or something.
