Attack of the Clones translated into Chinese and back to English makes for hilarious subtitles

KnifeOfPi2 over on Reddit writes, “I translated Attack of the Clones into Chinese and back to English.

“Here are the hilariously mangled subtitles for The Second Gathers: The Duplicate Offensive.”

1.

he returned… bare?

2.

palpatine begs to change his gender

3.

anakin is adamant that research is research. a wise position.

4.

that is a lot of breakups, anakin!

5.

padme is a lesbian now.

6.

this guy doesn’t care much for jedi.

7.

anakin lapses into forgetfulness

8.

anakin: “the chancellor doesn’t appear to be corrupt”

9.

obi-wan: “why do i get the feeling you’re going to be the death of me?”

10.

anakin thinks the chancellor is… a map.

11.

yoda thinks there are too many jedi

12.

padme doesn’t want to hold jar jar’s bottle

13.

obi-wan implies something.

14.

good morning, methamphetamine!

15.

dex admits he’s blind.

16.

obi-wan: “kamino, i’m not familiar with it. is it in the republic?”

17.

apparently those kaminoans have nice looking cd burners

18.

obi-wan expresses his frustration with the computer.

19.

padme informs anakin she’s going to kill him.

20.

yoda: “younglings! younglings!”

21.

yoda teaches the younglings how to use tinder

22.

yoda tells the younglings about a failed romance

23.

yoda urges obi-wan to destroy the evidence

24.

…but then realizes that it can’t be done.

25.

he’s nuts!

26.

obi-wan introduces himself with a familiar name.

27.

i love this line.

28.

padme decides to become celibate.

29.

lama su disputes that django pets is a bounty hunter.

30.

padme forgets who anakin is, and anakin doesn’t remember either

31.

interestingly, ‘sifo-dyas’ keeps getting translated as ‘obi-wan.’ i have no idea why, the names don’t even sound similar!

32.

jango reveals his former name

33.

anakin *knew* she wasn’t gone!

34.

anakin asks padme to resist her temptation to kiss the scar.

35.

anakin the masochist

36.

obi-wan discusses medicare with r4-p17.

37.

obi-wan thinks pretty highly of the kaminoans

38.

anakin orders padme to stay right where she is.

39.

that doesn’t sound very good, watto.

40.

obi-wan: “seismic charges!”

41.

boba urges his father to take notes.

42.

“the maker!”

43.

“and miss padme. oh my.”

44.

cliegg is an avid gambler

45.

count dooku wants to conquer africa

46.

anakin: “nooooooooo!”

47.

obi-wan decides to contact allah. (for those who don’t know, anakin was translated as ‘allah gold’ through much of backstroke of the west, so it’s not unusual to see it here.)

48.

anakin wants to learn how to die. impressive!

49.

anakin is furious that obi-wan hugged him

50.

…but padme assures anakin that anger is just another person.

51.

governor ray gun! that’s a sufficiently sci-fi name…

52.

count dooku says… something.

53.

the west strike again! (“a sith lord called darth sidious.”)
yet another coincidence with backstroke.

54.

you two careful, he is a big

55.

dooku: “you’re impossibly outnumbered”

56.

well, that didn’t translate!

57.

the viceroy urges dooku to redo his makeup

58.

obi-wan: “follow that speeder!”

59.

obi-wan: “what do you think padme would do were she in your position?”

60.

“welcome home, lord tyranus”

61.

mr. speaker, we are for the big

I translated Attack of the Clones into Chinese and back to English. Here are the hilariously mangled subtitles for The Second Gathers: The Duplicate Offensive.

“”camino. I am not familiar. It is in Africa?”

I BLESS THE CLONES DOWN IN AAAAAFRICA “, says dwrlewis.

“[The entire Prequel Trilogy, in a nutshell](https://i.imgur.com/Re18SEI.png)”, writes tristamgreen.

“EARTHQUAKE FEE!

(“seismic charges”)

hilarious “, notes MrKillerCookie.

“The best one is where it translated the Chancellor to Merkel :P”, says Chell_the_assassin.

“Yoda: “You must delete the email.
You can delete these files hopeless.”

Dammit I was really looking forward to reading about Obi-Wan’s yoga routines as well… /s”, writes Veefy.

“*Padme does not want to hold Jar Jar’s bottle.*

O_O”, notes IamSnokeO_o.

““FUCK.””, says Spudtron98.

“Find fuck and wan planets, we will.”, writes KnifeOfPi2.

“”You must delete the e-mail”

Holy shit, thats relevant as fuck.”, notes joshthewumba.

“”You must delete the e-mail.”

CORRUPTION GOES ALL THE WAY TO THE TOP OF THE JEDI COUNCIL, FOLKS! CROOKED YODA!”, says whitemamba83.

Source: Reddit