40-year-old man disappointed the new Nokia 3310 doesn’t make him feel 23 again

A nostalgic 40-year-old man is said to be utterly inconsolable after buying the relaunched Nokia 3310 and still not feeling like he did when he was 23.

“Like any respectable middle aged man I spend my time surrounding myself with objects and ephemera from my youth in a desperate bid to pretend that I’m still 23 and I’m living in the year 2000 when this phone first came out,” said the man, who wished to remain anonymous due to ridicule.

“I watch the DVD of the first X-Men film almost every night, and on my way to work I always listen to Kid A by Radiohead and Parachutes by Coldplay on my first generation iPod.”

“I thought getting the new Nokia 3310 would be the final hurdle to me finally reliving my early twenties – but it’s all a lie.”

“When the phone rings now it’s not my mates asking me if I fancy going on an all-nighter, it’s someone asking me if I’ve been mis-sold PPI.”

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