A guy who makes Role-playing games has criticised a map of New Orleans for being “unrealistic” and it’s gone viral
James L. Sutter, Co-creator of the Pathfinder and Starfinder RPGs, has been looking at the maps of New Orleans and finding them problematic.
1.
Holy cow—if you like fantasy maps, spend some time looking at New Orleans. WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON WITH THIS CITY?! If this came in from a freelancer, there are half a dozen things that would raise my eyebrows. pic.twitter.com/ApqYYWlE8d
— James L. Sutter (THE GHOST OF US out 6/11!) (@jameslsutter) March 19, 2018
2.
Like, look at this river. All these different places it could enter the lake or the sea, but no, it goes ALL THE WAY to the very tip of the land to enter the water. Artificial? Maybe, but who would bother? Totally unrealistic. pic.twitter.com/9vxBvtEQRT
— James L. Sutter (@jameslsutter) March 19, 2018
3.
And let's take a look at this gem: A highway running between two GIGANTIC, FUCK-OFF LAKES NEAR THE OCEAN. A tiny strip of land barely wide enough for the road, and you're going to build HOUSES on it? No way. Nobody's that dumb. pic.twitter.com/hKsZPCqeeq
— James L. Sutter (@jameslsutter) March 19, 2018
4.
And then there's this thing. What even is this? A canal? More like your eraser tool slipped, and you didn't notice until it was time to color things and you were too lazy to go back and fix it. Sloppy. pic.twitter.com/34hcKv6mzd
— James L. Sutter (@jameslsutter) March 19, 2018
5.
And speaking of sloppy: Did you seriously just label this thing as a LAKE? It is ATTACHED TO THE FUCKING OCEAN, STEVE. THAT MAKES IT, BY DEFINITION, NOT A LAKE. pic.twitter.com/MdodcUrjje
— James L. Sutter (@jameslsutter) March 19, 2018
6.
And you like lakes? Then let's talk bridges. Building a bridge is HARD. Like, real hard. That's why we do it at the narrowest point. You wanna build one across the WIDEST POINT OF THE FUCKING LAKE, then you're putting that shit together by yourself, Steve. pic.twitter.com/3zAXiRG9K8
— James L. Sutter (@jameslsutter) March 19, 2018
7.
Okay, all the texture you've got going on in here? It looks rad, I'll give you that. But killing yourself like this in a map turnover is pointless, because no cartographer is going to bother recreating every little puddle. They're gonna slap on a swamp texture and cash the check. pic.twitter.com/yDg8hkOxYi
— James L. Sutter (@jameslsutter) March 19, 2018
8.
I'm sure there are many more things I could critique, but I don't want to be too harsh. It *is* a really interesting-looking design, but in the end, it's just not believable. (And don't give me your giant document on why it could be this way—we don't have space to print that.)
— James L. Sutter (@jameslsutter) March 19, 2018
9.
Anyway, big props to the South for convincing me that New Orleans was a real place—you really had me going there for a while. Please clean up your map and resubmit when it follows the rules of a real-world city.
— James L. Sutter (@jameslsutter) March 19, 2018