Gwyneth Paltrow’s website sells psychic vampire repellent and parody is dead – or undead

We’ve long since stopped being surprised at things Gwyneth Paltrow does, eats or sells – it’s easier that way. After all, once you’ve got over the existence of a jade vaginal egg, there’s really nowhere else to go. However, when writer Leila Brillson spotted a product available from Gwyneth Paltrow’s website, Goop, she had to speak up.

Okay WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS, GWYNETH PALTROW? This is something out of Adam West’s Batman. pic.twitter.com/QgJqwUBxhw

— Leila Brillson, First of Her Name (@leilaclaire) January 21, 2019

We can see her point. It’s not just that she’s selling something that can’t possibly work, it’s also that she’s doing it for $27.00 per bottle. In case you think some Photoshop wizard tricked everyone, the product can be found here.

Of course, the post drew some incredulous reactions:

https://twitter.com/marcusjdl/status/1087314818946744320

😹😹😹 Holy Paranormal Blood Feast!

— Aaron Stewart-Ahn (@somebadideas) January 21, 2019

so expensive and it only works on PSYCHIC vampires. Gotta get a completely different repellant for normal vampires.

— not tan y'all (@perlhack) January 21, 2019

I think this is called "going all in."

— Count Olaf (@olafdedig) January 21, 2019

There was a damning review from the Church of Satan – which is never good.

"If only it were that easy…" – High Priestess Peggy Nadramia https://t.co/g3FVeirUTr

— The Church Of Satan (@ChurchofSatan) January 21, 2019

You never know, though – she might have found a market.

https://twitter.com/fivefifths/status/1087316403894525953