22 genuinely ridiculous real-life names

Our names don’t define us, but they can make an impression in a subtle or overt way. They can tell our social class, to an extent.

Telegraph births this morning. Twins. pic.twitter.com/xovNd1DuLC

— Harry Wallop (@hwallop) October 12, 2015

They can seem unsuitable for some reason …

And the award for policeman name of the year 2019 goes to…. pic.twitter.com/uPyHYu0YcA

— seth darby (@sethdarby) January 17, 2019

or entirely apt.

However, some names are just – well, ridiculous. Those are the ones that writer Fred Delicious was after with this tweet.

What is the most ridiculous name you’ve ever come across in real life?

I once met a kid who swore blind his friend’s dad was called Malcolm Powder

— Fred Delicious 🍆 (@Fred_Delicious) March 4, 2019

It would seem that everyone on Twitter knows someone with a ridiculous name, because these are just a fraction of the ones told to Fred.

Some sounded a little rude

1.

Was at university with Jon Tuk Sum Cok. No one knew his full name until it was announced at our graduation ceremony. And I can't tell you the audience behaved with any decorum. https://t.co/MprV5ZmCGg

— Nicholas Hogg (@nicholas_hogg) March 5, 2019

2.

I was on a flight with a pilot called Martin Piss.

— Mark (@markholt_1) March 4, 2019

There were those with unfortunate famous counterparts.

3.

Holidaying in the Scottish Highlands a few years ago, my uncle was treated by an elderly doctor called Donald Duck. He was about five years older than Disney's creation, and had lived with it all his life. https://t.co/5TD6RlcBod

— Nicholas Pegg (@NicholasPegg) March 5, 2019

4.

This is my real name. People like my credit card.

— Pete G. Griffin (@PeteGGriffin) March 5, 2019

5.

I had a supervisor named Gary Coleman. Whenever he asked me to do something I would say " whatchu talking bout Willis." I was so fired after 3 months.

— Destry™ (@DestryBrod) March 5, 2019

6.

When I was in my early 20’s I worked at a gas station and a man paid with his credit card so I needed to check his ID. His name was Ronald McDonald and I laughed in his face. He was not as happy as the food clown one.

— Octopus/Caveman (@OctopusCaveman) March 5, 2019

Some names make statements nobody would want to make.

7.

A Japanese guy introduced himself to my husband with “Hello! I’m So Itchi”

— Washi Deli (@Washi_Deli) March 5, 2019

8.

Fanny Hurtz. Mature Student from Luxembourg when I was at uni. full name was Francesca but she insisted on Fanny.

— Scriblit (@Scriblit) March 5, 2019

9.

While working at a call center, my brother once spoke to a "Charity Hamjack."

— Chris McFeely (@chrismcfeely) March 4, 2019

10.

there was a guy in church growing up named Dick Washer

— dr. philz (@RyanPhillippe) March 5, 2019

And the rhyming ones …

11.

A guy at the T-Mobile store gave me his card. I didn’t look at it and was about to throw it away when I noticed his name was Vanderson Anderson. I hung it on the wall by my desk, where it remains to this day

— Dylan (@MinnDB) March 4, 2019