Simply 14 funny Mother’s Day comments
If you were wondering why the supermarkets have an aisle dedicated to shelves now stripped of wine, chocolates, heart-shaped cushions, schmaltzy novels, teddies holding hearts, and pyjamas, it’s because those are the legally allowed gifts for mothers and today is Mother’s Day.
If you see a panicky-looking man dashing around a shop today, it’s almost certainly because he’s just remembered what day it is and is now coming to the horrified realisation that his gift options are a 24-pack of Pepsi, a box of biros or a family-sized block of Cathedral City.
The good people of Twitter have been marking the day with their characteristic wit.
1.
Suspicions that I’ve ghostwritten my six week old daughter’s card to her mother will not be helped by her use of the word “herculean”
— Ivo Graham (@IvoGraham) March 31, 2019
2.
I was going to buy a Yankee candle for my mum for Mother’s Day but they’re too expensive, so I made her one pic.twitter.com/y6LhKwn0t6
— joe heenan (@joeheenan) March 30, 2019
3.
Don’t panic if you’ve forgotten to get flowers or chocolates for Mother’s Day. Simply drive to an all-night garage. Fill up the tank. Keep driving and don’t stop. Flee. Make a new life in a distant land. Never, ever return.
— paul bassett davies (@thewritertype) March 30, 2019
4.
It’s pretty disgraceful that women are not only paid less than men but that Mother’s Day is also an hour shorter than Father’s Day.
— Jake Lambert (@jakelambertcom) March 31, 2019
5.
My mum cheated on her partner and created a whole Religion
What’s your Mum ever done?#Mothersday2019
— Jesus H Christ! (@ThatBloke_Jesus) March 31, 2019
6.
Writing my #mothersday card out. She always likes a sentimental one. pic.twitter.com/80EqtjVRhy
— Pearly (@pearlylondon) March 30, 2019
7.
https://twitter.com/DadJokeMan/status/1112258532148240384
8.
All the Mums over on Facebook have been "utterly spoiled".
I presume they're mostly referring to their abdominals & bladder control.#MothersDay— Phlegm Clandango (@Cain_Unable) March 31, 2019