9 Excuses To Get Out Of Going Out On New Year’s Eve
New Year’s Eve is one of the biggest nights of the year. Ringing out the old and seeing in the new etc etc. Unfortunately, unless you’re really lucky, it often doesn’t live up to its high expectations.
Your local pub, which is usually desperately trying to entice you in with offers that make your liver beg for mercy – 8 shots of tequila for a fiver anyone? – now suddenly has a ‘bouncer’ (the dad of one of the bar staff in a slightly too small suit) and is now trying to charge you twenty quid just to walk through the door.
Amateur drinkers who barely touch alcohol the rest of the year suddenly think that they can totally handle 30 units of alcohol in an hour and are usually to be found a short while later, after accidentally spilling a large glass of red wine down your back, lying in a puddle of their own sick under a bush. Then, there’s getting home.
If (if being the operative word) you manage to get a taxi/Uber/Rickshaw to transport you home the prices they charge on that particular night will mean it will have already cost you a tenner before you’ve even had a chance to sit down and say “Been busy tonight then, mate?”
If you’ve made plans to go out on New Year’s Eve and are now thinking that a better option would be to just stay indoors, in the warm, watching crap telly and eating crisps then you’re going to need a hand to get out of those plans, so we’re here with 9 guaranteed* to work excuses.
1.
I witnessed a crime and have to go to the police station immediately to report it. For legal reasons though, I’m forbidden from telling you what the crime was.
2.
I’ve just remembered it’s my dog’s birthday and I’d never forgive myself if I went out and left him all alone on his special day.
3.
I’m not feeling very well. I looked up my symptoms on webMD and it said I have herpes, the bubonic plague and mad cow disease.
4.
A psychic told me something terrible would happen to me if I leave my house again before January 1st 2020.
5.
My cat is asleep on my lap, therefore I am unable to move for about the next 8-12 hours.
6.
I hit my head and now have that thing where you can’t remember stuff. I’ve forgotten what it’s called. Who are you? Who am I?
7.
I’m in the middle of an intense game of hide and seek with my hamster. I can’t leave my hiding place or he’ll win and I’ll never hear the end of it.
8.
All of my Christmas food goes out of date today. I can’t stand waste, so I need to stay in to finish it all before midnight.
9.
I accidentally Liked a 37 week old photo of my ex on Instagram and now have to change my name and make plans to move to a small cave on a remote island in the middle of nowhere.
*not guaranteed in the slightest.
Image:joshuachun from Unsplash