The 25 funniest tweets of the week
You owe it to yourself to step away from the news channel and give your blood pressure a chance to return to normal, and there’s no better way to do it – online, at least – than by having a laugh.
These 25 funny tweets can help with that.
1.
Today I walked to my kitchen and had leftover pizza for breakfast. Follow me for more health tips!
— Reese Witherspoon (@ReeseW) February 7, 2021
2.
This is not fake news. https://t.co/BLqur5ten4
— Sophie Ellis-Bextor (@SophieEB) February 6, 2021
3.
So glad they’ve introduced these new ‘slicing tomatoes’ so I can finally stop having to pull tomatoes apart with my fists pic.twitter.com/0cYMQfmkdQ
— Joe Lycett (@joelycett) February 11, 2021
4.
Big Bird has forward facing eyes suggesting he is a predator.
— marina 🕊 ☭ (@marinadove_) February 6, 2021
5.
10 years ago I was the 8th busiest burger van in Dundee. After a decade of work, listening to the punters, menu experimentation, spatula practice, meditation, positive mental attitude (PMA), fearless self-reflection, daring to dream, and two deaths, I am up to 6th. Never give up.
— Bob Servant (@bobservant) February 7, 2021
6.
i would eat every single meal out of a bowl if i could plates are extremely overrated and that’s my opinion!!
— sydney battle (@SydneyBattle) February 7, 2021
7.
Also thinking of getting a pet onion. pic.twitter.com/HSKN1G0XE0
— Hippolyta Loudbasket (@Loudbasket) February 7, 2021
8.
There should be a reverse super bowl with the shittiest teams of the season and the one that loses wins worst team of the year
— alicia (@nerdjpg) February 7, 2021
9.
The british museum after we Decolonise it pic.twitter.com/ySpyI2GN64
— Róisín (@roisinminh) February 7, 2021
10.
Saying someone’s breath stinks is the best comeback ever. Doesn’t matter if it ain’t true, i’ve won.
— Harry Pinero (@harrypinero) February 8, 2021
11.
He-Man studied astronomy at university and left with a Masters in the Universe.
— Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) February 9, 2021
12.
Did you know that “muffins” spelled backwards is actually what you do when you take them out of the oven?
— falafels for algernon (@GlowersForAlger) February 6, 2021