‘What’s the most messed-up lie your parents told you?’ – 17 jaw-droppers
10.
‘A lot more tame than the other ones here but my mum once told me not to sleep on my left cos that causes pressure on your heart. Not sure how true that was but I was nervous for years whenever I had to sleep on my left side.’
ManySleeplessNights
11.
‘When I was younger i learned that mushrooms were a fungus and refused to eat them. My dad made me some soup with mushrooms in it and i threw a fit about eating it, so he inspected the bowl and told me they were whale toes. Apparently i was old enough to know that mushrooms were a fungus but not old enough to know that whales didnt have feet. >_<
SelfBoundBeauty
12.
‘When my dad wanted me to stop bothering him he would send me on aimless errands. “Go to the shed and get me the chain stretcher”. I’d be looking for hours.’
Pydestroyer885
13.
‘Kinda a funny one. I grew up on a farm with cattle and we had 2 dogs. I had really bad allergies growing up and was allergic to everything with a fur coat but I still hugged our dogs and kept getting sick over it. So to prevent from hugging or playing with our dogs my mom told my that by doing so would make them want to chase cows and getting our cows worked up was a no no. So I stop hugging with the dogs in order to make them stop chasing cows. Funny thing is that now when I bring that up my mom doesn’t even remember telling me that.’
KrisX8981
14.
‘Not really messed up but I was told that watermelon seeds would grow inside me and sprout out of my head if I swallowed them. Needless to say, I cried until I threw up when I accidentally swallowed watermelon seeds.’
airpodwearer
15.
‘If I untied my bellybutton my bum would fall off.’
PerpetualFarter
16.
‘It’s not that f-cked up but it’s kind of a revenge story. When I was very young my parents told me I couldn’t get carbonated soft drinks cause they said it was bad for me and I could die. Mind you I was an hyperactive kid at the time.
‘At one point I got a genius idea, I lived with my mother and my father would pick me up every weekends. My plan was friday evening when my father would pick me up I would tell him “mom gave me coca-cola cause she said it’s okay you’re going to your father’s anyway” and at this moment my father accepted the fake challenge I have given him.
‘The next Sunday evening my father gave me like a 1L of 7up just before dropping me off. So I was pretty excited, my mother asked me like what’s up with you ? And I told her pretty much the same thing “dad gave me 7up cause he said it’s okay you’re going to your mother afterward anyway” and then my mom took on the challenge too.
‘They never spoke about it out loud it was kind of a war and I was the instruments. What they didn’t know was that I was the evil mind behind it all. So all in all, I got my revenge, I got carbonated soft drinks and they never learned the truth until I told them years later.’
lrdrchin
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17.
‘That it’s illegal to turn the light on in the car while driving.’
IamTheDanger6
You know who else used to turn the light on in the car while their parents were driving? Girl called Alice …
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Simply 23 glorious takedowns of hilariously confused Americans
Source Reddit u/bordemstirs H/T Someecards