Our 25 favourite tweets of the week

Welcome to this collection of the brilliant tweets we’ve spotted over the past week. We hope you get a few laughs out of them.

If you find any favourites, give them a retweet or a follow.

1.

jury duty is a wild concept. whenever the government wants, they can just be like “call off work bestie, we need you to solve a murder 🥰 here’s fifteen dollars.”

— soul nate (@MNateShyamalan) July 3, 2021

2.

Opened the kitchen cupboard and found my new stripper name. pic.twitter.com/4OxP7ukW3z

— Dean Burnett (@garwboy) July 3, 2021

3.

Ah, Beethoven. pic.twitter.com/YErj8M7F9l

— Andreas Fellner (@FellnAndreas) July 2, 2021

4.

this spot reserved for good ol boys that know how to smoke a brisket pic.twitter.com/8QEu4cknEV

— Andy Swan (@AndySwan) July 4, 2021

5.

me: how much for the goth sauce?
mortician: that's embalming fluid

— inkedupandsonic (@sonictyrant) July 3, 2021

6.

If you’ve ever felt stupid because you’ve been fooled by someone, don’t worry. In 12th Century Nottingham local leaders, as well as the actual Prince, were fooled by a fox entering an archery competition disguised as a stork.

— Matthew Highton (@MattHighton) July 3, 2021

7.

You know when people say, “I’m very humbled” after something amazing takes place that makes them look incredibly cool. Well today I got my arse kicked playing Monopoly against a ten year old today. I actually am humbled.

— Jarlath Regan (@Jarlath) July 4, 2021

8.

I get up when I want
except on Wednesdays
when I get rudely awakened
by the phytoplankton pic.twitter.com/OyHHxajNgJ

— Sarah Dempster (@Dempster2000) July 5, 2021

9.

Come back with a warrant pic.twitter.com/9dprexhUxP

— c a i t l i n (@hello__caitlin) July 4, 2021

10.

This extraordinarily beautiful moment of a mother wrench feeding her young will leave you breathless. pic.twitter.com/OAMgYdoTIL

— Ally Oop (@novelidea14) July 3, 2021

11.

"How come Americans write the month first?"
"That's how you say it, month first"
"What's the date today?"
"It's the fourth of July"

— Andy Ryan (@ItsAndyRyan) July 4, 2021

12.

my ex would always reply to random girls’ instagram stories and when i called him on it he was like “well if it makes you feel better they usually don’t even respond.” like oh yeah it def makes me feel better to learn my bf is not only shady, he’s also undesirable

— Dana Donnelly (@danadonly) July 8, 2021