Simply 33 of the funniest tweets about parenting
You don’t have to be a parent – well, actually you probably do – to enjoy these 33 funny parenting tweets from the last month or so.
1.
6YO: Can I eat a cookie?
Me: Finish your dinner first
6YO: My stomach is full except for a circle shaped space
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) August 2, 2021
2.
Good luck sitting next to him on the subway in 20 years ladies pic.twitter.com/E0wueSidJA
— Andrew Fleischman (@ASFleischman) July 10, 2021
3.
My teen daughter couldn’t decide what style of glasses to get so my husband suggested a pair like mine and she’s managed to narrow it down to anything but that.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) July 17, 2021
4.
Before having kids ask yourself “do I enjoy having a nice cold glass of water all to myself?”
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) July 12, 2021
5.
Holy shit do kids take a long time to eat
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) August 4, 2021
6.
Parenting is easy until you have kids.
— Jon Acuff (@JonAcuff) July 8, 2021
7.
my mom will put you in a coffin without even trying pic.twitter.com/ytUrfGOWYj
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) June 27, 2021
8.
My husband took the kids out for the afternoon so I could “get things done”. So far I’ve eaten half a jar of jelly beans, watched a cat roll around outside and stared at the laundry pile
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) July 10, 2021
9.
Welcome to parenthood. You just stepped in a puddle. Inside your house.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) July 7, 2021
10.
I recommend pregnancy for anybody who wants to get kicked in the ribs by a nude stranger that weighs between 1 and 10 lbs
— Erin And A Half Ryan (@morninggloria) July 7, 2021
11.
Every parent becomes an Olympic sprinter when they see their toddler standing in front of a wall with a Sharpie
— A Bearer Of Dad News🇬🇾 (@HomeWithPeanut) July 27, 2021
12.
My kids are playing grown-up. From what I can tell, it involves running around yelling “I’m late for work!” and going to the eye-dentist
— meghan (@deloisivete) June 28, 2021
13.
Kids mispronouncing things is super adorable but at some point I will have to tell my daughter we don’t put Farmer John cheese on spaghetti.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) July 23, 2021
14.
if you want all your cereal boxes and chip bags to look like they were opened by a wild monkey, kids might be for you.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) August 3, 2021
15.
My kid just peeled a fat strip of paint off the wall and said “I love the skin of our house”
— KELGORE (@KelgoreTrout) August 2, 2021
16.
looking forward to taking my kids on a packed fun day out where everything we do is still not enough
— The Dad (@thedad) July 31, 2021
17.
There is a drinking game where you drink every time a kid annoys you.
It’s called “parenting.”
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) August 5, 2021