25 favourite funny tweets of the week
13.
Things I've learned:
1: someone else's sandwich does not always taste as good as it looks.
2: I can run surprisingly fast while eating a stolen sandwich
— Danny Sutcliffe (@dannysutcliffes) August 23, 2021
14.
seems like H&M is expecting a rush on Victorian funerals pic.twitter.com/PqTRlyg34H
— 💀 (@littIe_dead) August 21, 2021
15.
When my neighbour sees me in my garden in the morning, I bet he thinks "that guy has fantastic pyjamas" and "I wish he'd wear them sometimes".
— GlennyRodge (@GlennyRodge) August 25, 2021
16.
"omg babe don't turn round but there's a giant naked man sailing a boat towards us" pic.twitter.com/A6cijEQVPg
— Ella Zee 🌈👑 (@EllaZee5) August 24, 2021
17.
Good morning. pic.twitter.com/tpKF0DBgIN
— Nick🇬🇧🇪🇺 (@nicktolhurst) August 24, 2021
18.
That bit in Jurassic Park where they outrun the T-Rex only he then takes a huff on his inhaler and puts his hands on his knees and calls them bastards.
— Bethany Black 🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈twitch.tv/beffernieblack (@BeffernieBlack) August 24, 2021
19.
I once made up having a son whilst talking to a Tesco delivery driver because I was embarrassed by how many Birds Eye chicken dippers I’d ordered
— John (@casioroee) August 24, 2021
20.
sorry i can’t come into work today the cuban government has used a targeted energy weapon on me producing symptoms identical to a hangover
— law dog, esq. (@ggooooddddoogg) August 24, 2021
21.
Visited a country fair yesterday for the first time in years to watch the English Sheepdog trials. Cruel and farcical. Not one was legally represented. Wasn’t even clear what the allegations were.
— The Secret Barrister (@BarristerSecret) August 22, 2021
22.
— slate (@PleaseBeGneiss) August 25, 2021
23.
Oh, you want a relationship like Romeo and Juliet.
Look, their relationship lasted a total of three days and ended up causing six deaths.
Please read the book.
— Dustin Off These Dad Jokes. (@AutisticDad23) August 25, 2021
24.
Harsh but fair pic.twitter.com/FdseWuDjft
— Julicorn 🦄 (@ChicksRule) August 24, 2021
25.
It’s #InternationalDogDay
This pup isn’t mine but I sure get sent lots of pics of him/her, I kind of feel like we’re friends 🐶 pic.twitter.com/309c6yUukf
— Tim Burgess (@Tim_Burgess) August 26, 2021
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Our 25 favourite tweets of the week
Image @little_dead Sandy Millar on Unsplash