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Our 25 favourite funny tweets of the week
The weekend’s so close, not only can we smell it, but we can give it a snarky look for not socially distancing. To celebrate, here are 25 excellent tweets from the past seven days.
Show them the love they deserve.
1.
I’m on the next Dragon’s Den show with a robot I’ve invented that can identify traffic lights in photographs.
— Fred MacAulay (@fredmacaulay) September 24, 2021
2.
Might be off here for a while, I have to disentangle three wire coat hangers.
— Richard Osman (@richardosman) September 26, 2021
3.
The Queen looks like she's watching a gangland execution that she authorised in cold blood. pic.twitter.com/z7Xbhxlrrj
— cluedont (@cluedont) September 26, 2021
4.
putting a tray of fancy snacks on the roomba and pretending i have a small idiot butler
— soul nate (@MNateShyamalan) September 24, 2021
5.
What posh people call bread. pic.twitter.com/LsKsVFtPpf
— Richard Coles (@RevRichardColes) September 25, 2021
6.
♪♫ Come, they told me, pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum rum pum, rum pum pum pum, pa rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum, pa rum pum pum pum prrrum prrrum prrrum prrrum tish ♫♪
– The Little Jazz Drummer Boy— Craig Deeley 🇪🇺🏳️🌈 (@craiguito) September 30, 2021
7.
Thanks everyone for 🎉20K 🎉 pic.twitter.com/OKsHfxsbHl
— Elizabeth Kenyon (@lizkenyon07) September 25, 2021
8.
He died doing what he loved….. pic.twitter.com/ksBudO7GP9
— Paul (@bingowings14) September 27, 2021
9.
Flight attendant: Is there a doctor on board?
Me: Yes, but I'm not that kind of…
Flight attendant: It’s 11:52 PM and the passenger in 37F has a conference abstract due in seven minutes. It’s currently 50 words over the limit.
Me: Okay. I’m here.
— Leslie Berntsen 👩🏽🏫🇳🇮 (@leslie_bern) September 26, 2021
10.
I mean, technically aren't we all "foodies"? I've never met anyone who's like "nothing for me waiter, I'll just photosynthesize".
— KnowComment (@KnownComment) September 25, 2021
11.
If the number 666 is considered evil, then technically, 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.
— Prof. Feynman (@ProfFeynman) September 26, 2021
12.
Bring me Han Solo pic.twitter.com/gvBftdKQHS
— Object With Face (@objectwithface) September 29, 2021