‘What’s the fastest you’ve seen a new co-worker get fired?’ – 21 jaw-dropping dismissals

We’ve had a few jobs in the past where it’s fair to say things didn’t quite work out as well as they might have done.

But we’ve never had a career move end quite so disastrously as this.

It all began when Redditor bartertownbeer asked this.

“What is the fastest you have ever seen a new coworker get fired?”

People replied in their thousands and we’ve read them all – well, quite a lot of them – so you don’t have to and these are the 21 of the most startling and outrageous.

1.

‘As a teenager, I worked at a bowling alley. Within an hour, a new girl was fired on the spot for dropping a ball on the foot of a complaining patron.’
jeff_the_nurse

2.

‘Four or so hours. When I was 18 I got a job at a grocery store, along with three others. We all started training together. On the first day we were training in the evening, and one girl asked to go home, she said her head hurt.

‘They said fine, she clocked out, went to grab a grocery cart and started filling it with beer and liquor. The store manager walked over, and asked her if she was having a party. She said yes. Didn’t even try to come up with an excuse. Just, “yeah, I am, so I needed to leave early on my first day.” basically. He fired her.’
houseat261turnerlane

3.

‘Worked in a grocery store for a while: new guy took a lobster out of the tank and removed the elastic bands on its claws, then proceeded to put it back in the tank. The thing murdered all the other lobsters in the tank.’
professorglock

4.

‘He didn’t show up the first day, second day, or third day. I had to work a double shift for three days straight. Not fun. I answered the phone when he finally ‘called in’ on the fourth day.

‘He said, “I’m going to be honest with you, I’ve been in Orlando. My parents paid for a small vacation as a reward for getting the job. Would it be okay to start next week instead of this week?”
squeeeeenis

5.

‘I work construction. We had 2 new hires that were friends starting the same day. Boss told one take a coffee order and come back. Took everyone’s money and said he needed his friend to go with him cause it was a big order. They never came back.’
Dendad1218

6.

‘Guy got hired, went through training and all that jazz. First day on the floor, he disappeared for 3 hours and then came back high as fuck on like meth or something. A manager found him in the bathroom aisle, staring at himself in the mirror. Said manager looked at the cameras after firing him, the guy was there staring at himself for at least 30+ minutes.

‘To clear up some questions, I worked at Home Depot, he was in the aisle where we sell bathroom counter tops and medicine cabinets. We also have mirrors in this aisle and that’s where he was. Not in the bathroom haha’
just_a_average_dude

7.

‘Heard this from a manager I worked with when I worked in fast food. There was this one kid who didn’t show up for work. He ditched work often, so the manager called around, couldn’t get anyone to fill in his shift, so she had to fill it for him.

‘A few hours into his shift, the dude ditching SHOWS UP, with his friends, and orders food from that manager. She fired him on the spot.’
ArtPerfect7076

8.

‘First day of work, he walks in, says “what the fuck is up dumbass” to the guy that parked next to (didn’t touch) his new Camaro he bought since he got hired.

‘The guy was the CEO of the company I used to work for, on visit to our branch. Literally ten minutes into his shift he was signing release papers.’
NinthReever

9.

‘We had a recent college grad who would use his corporate card for personal purchases. He figured that the company would just keep deducting from his paycheck until it was paid off.

‘He was fired after three months of constant reminders to stop doing it. I don’t think it qualifies as the fastest because he lasted three months, but it was so idiotic.’
CBus-Eagle

10.

‘Three hours into the first shift. Guy lost it while serving an annoying customer in a grocery shop and threw a cabbage at her. The manager came and told him to go home ’cause he was finished there. He wasn’t surprised. I was standing next to him; it was an entertaining day.’
Revolutionary_Oil897