25 funny tweets of the week

The nights are drawing in, the temperature is dropping and the sleaze allegations are falling like snowflakes in a sickly sweet Christmas film. But fear not – there are still plenty of funny tweets to fill you with mirth, if not goodwill to all.

These were our favourites from the past seven days.

1.

I'm assuming 420 years ago this person died very unexpectedly. pic.twitter.com/eO0takjZTb

— Optopian (@ImBuddhish) November 5, 2021

2.

A quick British translation guide:

Meanings of "we'll see"
1. No

Meanings of "maybe"
1. No

Meanings of “could do”
1. No

Meanings of “I’ll think about it”
1. No

Meanings of “let’s talk about it later”
1. No

Meanings of “I’ll see how I feel”
1. No

— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) November 7, 2021

3.

marriage is basically just asking "if you're going to the kitchen could you refill my water" back and forth until one of you dies

— amy b (@arb) November 7, 2021

4.

when you’re staying in a hotel and breakfast is included pic.twitter.com/TS5Cd2rDgW

— melissa cox (@mmdotcox) November 7, 2021

5.

When the news gets too depressing, my go-to move is to post baby ducks riding on a dog's back as a surefire way to trend on Twitter & break the internet. 🐕🦆#ProveMeWrong pic.twitter.com/r8YPFOg4bL

— Mark Hamill (@HamillHimself) November 9, 2021

6.

If changing the time were popular we’d do it at noon with a big clock and a celebration, not like thieves in the night.

— John Levenstein (@johnlevenstein) November 7, 2021

7.

he escaped pic.twitter.com/HKeL7m83Rc

— Rob N Roll (@thegallowboob) November 6, 2021

8.

Him: I just called to say I love you

Me: This could have been a text

— Dumb Beezie (@dumbbeezie) November 7, 2021

9.

For the love of god, it’s time to stop hiding passwords behind those stupid dots as I type them. No one is looking over anyone’s shoulder. We’re all alone. All the time. Constantly. N00n31sL00k1ng! oh whoops that’s my password

— Sarah Cooper (@sarahcpr) November 8, 2021

10.

Finally made this meme thats been in my head pic.twitter.com/IpdnmjRABL

— C$ (@carolynmain) November 11, 2021

11.

imagine being a termite and seeing this. devastating pic.twitter.com/TmuW8P8DuP

— Daniel Strauss (@danielstrauss) November 8, 2021

12.

Lawyer: Your TV show is much too close to Squid Games and we want you to change it

Me: I will have you know that Octopus Challenge is quite different and I have several cocktail napkins to prove it

— Lord Hugh Mungus (@PoodleSnarf) November 7, 2021