Our 25 favourite tweets of the week
It’s getting cold out, so perhaps you could stay indoors a bit longer, with a cup of whatever takes your fancy and this week’s best tweets.
Give your faves a follow.
1.
Hold a buttercup up to someone's neck to see if they like sitting next to you on that bus
— Craig Deeley 🇪🇺🏳️🌈 (@craiguito) November 28, 2021
2.
growing up my dad always picked up our pizzas, I was 13 before I realized pizzas didn’t come with 2 pieces already missing
— an english human (@English_Channel) November 28, 2021
3.
Fool me once shame on you
Fool me 7 times you must be a car that looks like mine in the mall parking lot— PieGuy (@ilovepie84) November 28, 2021
4.
No wonder Brighton couldn’t score pic.twitter.com/Yz163YJgrm
— Jemmo (@J3MMO) November 27, 2021
5.
Me, and my three consistent twitter faithful fans pic.twitter.com/TNeqQhj7TB
— • Santa Paws •• (@agirlcalledlina) November 30, 2021
6.
Constantly baffling to me how, after nine-and-a-half years of it never harming a hair on his head, the dog remains 100% convinced the hoover intends to kill him.
— Max Morgan ️️⚧️ (@SpillerOfTea) November 30, 2021
7.
When you’re recording your testimonial for a delivery company but then you see a spider pic.twitter.com/LNf6OkB87D
— Rick Burin (@rickburin) December 1, 2021
8.
Men who are after a quiet woman with an entirely hairless body who smiles all the time may be looking for a dolphin.
— Helen Kingston (@kingstonwrites) November 27, 2021
9.
Fucking hell I'd take my chances like Captain Oates pic.twitter.com/o2iWbC8Tt1
— Je téléphone à la police (@je_police) November 27, 2021
10.
the feminine urge to finish every sentence with, "if that makes sense" despite knowing it absolutely makes sense
— steph panecasio ✨ (@StephPanecasio) November 26, 2021
11.
I've been wearing my boyfriend's hoodie around the house for the last week. I tried to give it back last night.
"That's not my hoodie." Realised with horror I've been wearing our builder's hoodie. In front of the builder.— Fern Brady (@FernBrady) November 29, 2021
12.
Bit cynical putting this out so soon after Cucumber’s Greatest Hits. pic.twitter.com/kPlc0HulSz
— Daniel Maier (@danielmaier) November 29, 2021