25 best tweets of the week
13.
First they came for the people who put eyelashes on their car headlights and I did nothing because those people are clearly serial killers.
— Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) March 15, 2022
14.
Twitter needs an edit bottom.
— Everyone's Favourite Jim (@JimmerUK) March 15, 2022
15.
The male equivalent of 'Once, twice, three times a lady'. pic.twitter.com/GqJhb8bovz
— Andy Ryan (@ItsAndyRyan) March 16, 2022
16.
As campaign to ban trophy hunting gathers pace, Man Utd say they’re doing their best.
— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) March 16, 2022
17.
I don't know where this squirrel's husband is but he's in deep shit pic.twitter.com/0pFxjUXlji
— Rob (Pog) (@KeepOnPogging) March 14, 2022
18.
There's no point crying over cracked eggs.
"It's spilled milk.."
Yeah I know but I dropped your eggs.
— Ruthe Phoenix (@RuthePhoenix) March 17, 2022
19.
Reassuring a friend pic.twitter.com/7ILf3hrSR6
— Katie Mack (@AstroKatie) March 16, 2022
20.
Pete Davidson's torso looks like the artwork for a can of IPA that costs £9 despite tasting like liquid soil pic.twitter.com/PN5qqDeqty
— thomas hobbs (@thobbsjourno) March 17, 2022
21.
Why do they ask your job on gameshows? It's the least interesting thing about you. Ask people their favourite dinosaur.
— Sam Whyte (@SamWhyte) March 17, 2022
22.
Time in grocery store: 6 minutes.
Time sitting in grocery store parking lot scrolling phone: 426252 minutes.
— your other mom (@difficultpatty) March 15, 2022
23.
Not saying my career is going well but I just had a Google alert to let me know my name appeared in my own tweet.
— Tiernan Douieb (@TiernanDouieb) March 17, 2022
24.
i know today's date (03162022) doesn't mean much to anyone else but it's both my social security number AND the last eight digits of my credit card. plus it's my mother's maiden name
— phil (@PhilJamesson) March 16, 2022
25.
I just guessed my Google password on the first try. Is this what having your life together feels like?
— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) March 16, 2022
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25 favourite tweets of the week
Image Screengrab, skitterphoto on Pixabay