25 favourite funny tweets of the week
13.
if you eat a whole bottle of flintstones vitamins you can push your car with your feet
— FRO VO (@fro_vo) May 28, 2022
14.
I was indifferent to Top Gun: Maverick, but I’m seeing so much good buzz about it that right now I’m going to drop everything and totally watch it on basic cable in a couple of years.
— Frank Conniff (@FrankConniff) May 29, 2022
15.
Daft Punk said "one more time" and then repeated it 200 more times.
— Matt Somerstein (@MPSomerstein) May 30, 2022
16.
Pretty unfair that they bleep out the f-bomb on TV but cooking show hosts are allowed to say “mouthfeel.”
— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) June 1, 2022
17.
Victoria's Secret has released a new bra and it's called "Manchester United". Lot's of support but no cup. pic.twitter.com/44GpS58Il0
— Troll Football (@TrollFootball) May 31, 2022
18.
It’s not until you pour a 30g variety pack cereal box into a bowl do you realise how much of a greedy bastard you’ve historically been
— Rachel Hawkins (@ourrachblogs) June 2, 2022
19.
I drove through Coventry today during torrential rain. It was like being in a low budget version of Jurassic Park only with fewer dinosaurs and more bellend drivers.
— Flups (@TheRealFlups) May 31, 2022
20.
That's definitely something a haunted chair would say.. pic.twitter.com/YPeblZtYu7
— Heather Cowan (@hwardcowan) June 1, 2022
21.
My husband is helping me relax this morning by making breakfast for the family. He’s asked me 12 different times what we all want to eat, set off the smoke alarm twice and is now yelling for everyone to eat cereal
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) June 1, 2022
22.
do you have to keep cool ranch doritos refrigerated
— Indy 🐧 (@IndecisiveJones) June 1, 2022
23.
when guys on dating apps ask me who my favourite philosopher is i make up a random german sounding name. half of the time they “oh yeah i’ve read some of his stuff”
— eilidh (@beauvoirbaddie) June 1, 2022
24.
If it was me I wouldn't think to come into my office, scream twice, leave and then repeat this process every 10 minutes but that's why my cat is an innovator.
— Casey Malone (@CaseyMalone) June 1, 2022
25.
If you serve your kids frozen pizza or chicken nuggets for dinner, you're a terrible parent. I don't care how busy you are–find the time to microwave that shit.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) June 2, 2022
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Image @bewgtweets, Screengrab