‘How do you politely end a conversation with someone who won’t stop talking?’ 25 funniest (and effective) solutions

It’s not always easy starting a conversation, particularly if you have to interrupt someone, but that’s nothing compared with the horror of trying to end a chat with someone who just won’t stop talking.

But never fear because help is at hand after Redditor Spritti33 asked this.

“How does someone politely end a conversation with a person who won’t stop talking?”

And it prompted a whole heap of replies which were not only often very funny, they might actually come in useful some time.

1.

‘When they draw a breath, politely say:

“On that note, I must be on my way.”

‘Then, simply leave.’
Back2Bach

2.

‘Say “wwwweeeelllllppppp”, slap your knee and stand up to leave.’
ThereCastle

3.

‘With some people it’s impossible. I worked with a guy who wouldn’t stop talking, long boring stories with no point and no end.

‘I was doing a course through distance learning at the time so any downtime was spent studying. I politely asked him to be quiet, and explained the importance of the assignment I was working on.

‘He agreed not to talk but then sat there humming, this lasted about 10 minutes until he couldn’t bear it anymore and started yabbering on again with his incessant nonsense.’
Bangkokbeats10

4.

‘In Flanders we have a word for it.

“Bon” and then you say something i have work to do, it’s time to go home, it’s time to get drinks.

‘And people realise the other person wants to leave without being mean

‘Edit: I forget to mention the short slap that goes with it to give it more weight, and yes. It’s a french word. people use it probably in France, Quebec and Wallonia too. But i never had a long conversation there.’
ISuckAtRacingGames

5.

‘In the UK, our method is to slap our thighs and say “right”.

‘Sadly this usually leads to the next hour of increasing levels of trying to leave.’
Ultrasonic-Sawyer

6.

‘We do the same in Minnesota except it’s:

“Whelp”

“Spose I should head out then”

‘Proceed to talk in the driveway for 30 minutes.’
Andjhostet

7.

‘Sorry, I have to return some video tapes.’
rabengeieradlerstein

8.

‘The record I left on for the dog is about to end’
-Dalzik-

9.

‘I cut my foot earlier and my shoe is filling up with blood.’
TheHealadin

10.

‘Find a hedge and slowly dissapear into it.’
thekellerJ

11.

“Wait. What time is it?”

“It’s X”

“Fuck!”

‘The proceed to robot dance away until out of view.’
MacaronMelodic

12.

‘I learned a trick. Most excessive talkers hate listening. So I simply participate and tell my own stories. After one or two stories they are usually ready to leave themselves to seek their next victim.’
RireBaton

13.

‘I tried that with one old neighbour but he’d cut me off and we’d be talking at the same time louder and louder, both refusing to give in! Ridiculous!’
chopstiks