Our 25 favourite funny tweets of the week

Poke Staff. Updated September 30th, 2022

13.

hard to imagine a more embarrassing death than being beaten with a candlestick in a library by someone named colonel mustard

— fredesque (@FredTaming) September 26, 2022

14.

If you are gonna do conspiracy theories go big or go home. pic.twitter.com/qhVPoqG37s

— Axel Folio, PhD, a half Black/ half brown hobbit (@ISASaxonists) September 29, 2022

15.

Feels like a trap. pic.twitter.com/eDKUSqg02V

— yeah ok (@poutinesmoothie) September 28, 2022

16.

The Darkness are on the radio.

They should open one of their songs with ‘Hello Paul Simon, how are you?’.

— Neil (@_Enanem_) September 29, 2022

17.

every time I try to lay down for a bit it’s someone in a group text’s birthday

— Science Mom 🔬 (@EmSlyce) September 27, 2022

18.

Doctors texting each other. pic.twitter.com/dD9mFonssB

— jim rose circus (@jimrosecircus1) September 26, 2022

19.

[creation of trees]

god: when it’s warm you’ll be covered in leaves

tree: like a big coat?

god: yes but when it’s cold they’ll all fall off

tree: (eyes narrow) how long have you been doing this job

— Ygrene™ (@Ygrene) September 27, 2022

20.

I always set two wake up alarms, one for the person I want to be and one for the person I am

— stoned cold fox (@roastmalone_) September 28, 2022

21.

Guy Fieri: 54 years old with 85 restaurants, a production company, six TV shows and three houses.

Me: 41 years old with a plastic bag filled with 85 more plastic bags, a favorite stove top burner and crippling anxiety.

I guess we’re both living the dream.

— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) September 28, 2022

22.

"can you explain this gap in your resume?" oh, yeah, that's when i was trapped inside of a supernatural jungle-based board game

— Robert Schultz (@_RobertSchultz) September 28, 2022

23.