This list of takedowns banned by the New Zealand parliament is a treasure trove of ‘rare insults’

John Plunkett. Updated October 4th, 2022

Over on Reddit wolfbutterfly42 went viral with this selection of insults that New Zealand parliamentarians are banned from calling each other.

‘Imagine getting owned so hard parliament decides nobody can ever use that insult again,’ they said.

And it got even better when fellow Redditor best_of_badgers shared a link to a full list of phrases classed as ‘unparliamentary language’ by the NZ parliament.

And it’s an absolute treat (together with the year in which the phrases were banned). Some of them clearly require a little bit more context but, anyway, here goes.

1933

Blow-fly minded
Financial Frankenstein
Shrewd old bird

1936

Fungus farmer
Pipsqueak
Stonewalling

1943

Members hated the sight of khaki
Retardate worm

1946

Clown of the House
Idle vapourings of a mind diseased
I would cut the honourable gentleman’s throat if I had the chance
Quasi-parsonical
Skite

1949

His brains could revolve inside a peanut shell for a thousand years without touching the sides
Hoey
Humbugs
Hypnotised rabbits

1954

Bluebird

1957

Kind of animal that gnaws holes
Trained seals

1959

Kookaburra
Member not fit to lick the shoes of the Prime Minister

1963

Energy of a tired snail returning home from a funeral
Member a vicious woman
Sits on his behind

1966

Labour Party is dominated by an outside body
Shut up yourself, you great ape
Snotty nosed little boy
You are a cheap little twerp
Ridiculous mouse

1969

Commo (allowed)
Duck shoving
Like a snail leaves a slime behind him

1974

Scuttles for his political funk hole (allowed)
Soft-soaping (allowed)
Could go down the Mount Eden sewer and come up cleaner than he went in
Dreamed the bill up in the bath
Greasy hands
Grubby little man
Intestinal fortitude
Low style
Mealy mouthed
Slinking off to another part of the House
Frustrated warlord

1977

John Boy
Silly old moo
Racist
Sober up

1980

Ayatollah
Ditch the bitch
Fascist dictator
Heil Zeig
Marxist or neo-Marxist
Member for Pretoria
Merv the Swerve
Papanui Parrot
Quigley Wiggly
The Arapawa Goat

Which is your favourite?

‘I feel this is really a very roundabout way of creating a best roasts list.’
Vonbalthier

‘Yep, these are gold.’
Pha1anx43

‘I’m going to steal those and use them on my co workers.’
motornedneil

“We couldn’t finished the project on time, Kate has the energy of a tired snail returning home from a funeral.”

‘It just works.’
Fomentatore

“Idle vapourings of a mind diseased” sounds like one hell of a metal album.’
Virus5572

‘Let the brain spin and spin

‘Let the brain spin and spin

‘Let the brain spin and spin

‘In the peanut

‘SHELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.’
thisismysailingaccou

Source Reddit u/wolfbutterfly42 Image Unsplash Casey Horner