Cross ‘Kwarteng blames the Queen’s death for the budget’ off your Tory excuse bingo card
Somewhere in the shady corners of Whitehall, a Tory minion gave a weary pull on the wheel of excuses, then watched in growing concern as it flew past ‘the previous Labour government‘, ‘Covid‘, ‘Woke lefties‘, and ‘Greedy minimum-wage workers‘.
With dark foreboding, they reached for their phone, took a photo of the result and WhatsApped it to their boss – the Chancellor of the Exchequer, Kwasi Kwarteng, who opened the message, gave a knowing nod and did this –
#KwasiKwarteng blames ‘pressure’ of Queen’s death for botched mini-budget 👀 https://t.co/T4RL3T72QG
— The Independent (@Independent) October 4, 2022
It’s the only scenario that makes any kind of sense.
1.
sorry I'm shit at my job, queen's ded https://t.co/T4ruFTfV6J
— James Felton (@JimMFelton) October 4, 2022
2.
I see the genius has opened his mouth again https://t.co/D7835740XS
— Marina Hyde (@MarinaHyde) October 4, 2022
3.
Just remembered the Queen was dead and accidently wrote £65b off the economy.
— THE SECRET TORY 🇬🇧 (@secrettory12) October 4, 2022
4.
TORIES: It's impossible for this week to get any worse
KWARTENG: The Queen dying is why I'm utterly shit https://t.co/Hz00UPd38i
— tom jamieson (@jamiesont) October 4, 2022
5.
BREAKING: Kwasi Kwarteng has blamed the pressure of the Queen's death for fucking up the mini-budget to please his champagne-swilling mates. This is the same Kwasi Kwarteng who was laughing at the Queen's funeral x
— Laura Kuenssberg Translator (@BBCFLauraKT) October 4, 2022
6.
Just when you thought they couldn’t sink any lower…
Instead of taking responsibility for their reckless mishandling of our economy, the PM and her Chancellor try to shift blame elsewhere at every turn.https://t.co/0A91LjtjdZ
— Angela Rayner 🌹 (@AngelaRayner) October 4, 2022
7.
Impressed that we've now reached the 'blaming the Queen' stage of the government's clean-up operation on its mini budget. https://t.co/f6ofMGLCql
— Adam Bienkov (@AdamBienkov) October 4, 2022
8.
After Kwasi Kwarteng blames ‘pressure’ of Queen’s death for botched mini-budget, psychologists update the seven stages of grief:
– Shock
– Denial
– Anger
– Tanking the economy
– Depression
– Spaffing £65 billion on absolutely nothing
– Acceptance— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) October 4, 2022
9.
Kwasi Kwarteng has blamed the pressure of the Queen’s death for the budget cock-ups. In retrospect, you can see that the funeral really upset him.#CPC22pic.twitter.com/gbd84cqbox
— Parody Prime Minister (@Parody_PM) October 4, 2022