28 of the funniest tweets about parenthood
All children are individuals – even identical twins – but there are certain experiences that are common to the majority of parents. We’ve gathered some funny tweets about parenting, and some of you will relate hard.
Even if you don’t have kids of your own, these tweets are very funny.
1.
Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddler’s toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce.
— Upside Dad (@UpsideDad) September 20, 2022
2.
Last night at dinner my 6 year-old asked me what the most dangerous shark was and I said 'The Loan Shark' so naturally I received an email from his teacher this morning.
— 🍁Yukon Gold (@GrahamKritzer) September 21, 2022
3.
Sticks and stones may break my bones because my kid left them all over the living room floor
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) September 21, 2022
4.
Any parent who manages to wash their kids' favorite stuffed animal may include "hostage negotiator" on their resume.
— A Dad Influence 🇺🇸🇫🇷🇺🇦 (@gbergan) September 20, 2022
5.
I’m Mom. You might remember me from such hits as “When is this assignment due?” and its sequel “How long have you known about this?”
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) September 12, 2022
6.
Left the kids alone in a room with some styrofoam. One just yelled “it’s snowing” and the other started singing jingle bells. What have I done
— meghan (@deloisivete) September 11, 2022
7.
Not to brag but my kid is so polite she woke me up to check if she was making too much noise
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) September 12, 2022
8.
There’s no bigger reality gap for parents than the one between how you picture going out to eat with your family versus how it actually goes.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) October 1, 2022
9.
Nine months into parenthood, and I'm beginning to suspect "Why won't you eat your dinner?" is one of the great mysteries in life.
— Edward Snowden (@Snowden) September 8, 2021
10.
Thoughts and prayers for my kid please, the cheese was hanging over the edge of his sandwich
— meghan (@deloisivete) September 24, 2022
11.
Having the meal you made rejected by a toddler is especially disheartening because it's like, buddy, I've seen you eat play-doh.
— Jennifer Wright (@JenAshleyWright) September 24, 2022
12.
One of the greatest challenges I have faced as a parent is pretending that I hate the Baby Shark song when honestly, it’s a banger.
— Giulia Rozzi (@GiuliaRozzi) October 5, 2022
13.
My toddler is holding a plate of bacon in one hand and a Peppa Pig carrying case full of Peppa toys in the other. Who’s gonna tell him.
— meghan (@deloisivete) September 11, 2021
14.
My toddler is so unbelievably pumped for her birthday, she talks about it multiple times a day. Unfortunately, it’s still six months away. Please send help.
— Average Dad (@Average_Dad1) September 11, 2021