28 of the funniest tweets about parenthood
15.
At bedtime my 4 year old yawned, said he was tired, and actually fell asleep. What the fuck is this.
— threetimedaddy (@threetimedaddy) September 11, 2021
16.
when a toddler tells a story pic.twitter.com/3KjkXwoLmV
— Uncle Duke (@UncleDuke1969) September 28, 2022
17.
9 wrote a song called “My Mummy Has A Squishy Tummy” and he’s singing it while his brother and sister play harmonica and bongos and I seem to have unlocked an ultimate level of parenting hell
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) September 14, 2021
18.
Sometimes parenting means asking the tough questions like "why are there socks in the freezer?"
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) September 14, 2021
19.
Neighbor: hey is everything okay there’s a lot of yelling in your backyard
Me: yeah the kids are just attempting to play a game together
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) September 14, 2021
20.
me: I read that the foundation of good parenting is organization
my wife: I’ll start by alphabetizing the wine
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) September 24, 2022
21.
I told my 4yo daughter to believe in herself because she can be anything she wants to be so now she’s busy preparing for her future life as a dinosaur
— Lottie-pop 🍭 (@Lottie_Poppie) October 4, 2022
22.
Murphy’s Law: Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.
Christian Grey’s Law: A child will appear from out of nowhere the very second an inappropriate scene starts in the show you are watching.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) September 21, 2021
23.
My 4-year-old asked for a shark robe so she can wear it while she drinks her coffee (chocolate milk) in the morning. Starting to think she knows more about life than I do.
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) September 20, 2021
24.
Someone should figure out how to turn children arguing into energy. We would be able to power the whole damn world.
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) September 22, 2021
25.
Being a parent is teaching your children that it’s kind to share and then eating a packet of crisps as quietly as possible in the toilet so you don’t have to give any to them.
— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) September 22, 2022
26.
7YO: Can I get a snack?
Me: Are you feeling hungry?
7YO: You don’t need to be hungry to eat a cookie!
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) September 22, 2022
27.
My kid sure has a lot of opinions about string cheese for someone who’s only been around for 4 years
— meghan (@deloisivete) September 20, 2022
28.
no one:
my 5 year old: i know that guy in blues clues isn’t really talking to me because one time he asked me to do something and i said no and he said thanks
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) September 21, 2021
You don’t have to be a parent to relate to someone wanting more doughnuts.
Mom, remember we used to eat donuts?
-my 3 yo, 1 hour after eating a donut
— meghan (@deloisivete) September 21, 2021
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Simply 24 of the funniest parenting tweets from the last month
Image Avitalchn on Pixabay