25 favourite funny tweets of the week
Congratulations on finding your way to our round-up of funny tweets from the past week. The prize is that you get to put your feet up for a few minutes – but not if you’re on the bus, because that’s frowned upon.
As always, give your faves a follow or a retweet – or both.
1.
McDonald’s staff harvesting apple pie filling pic.twitter.com/7g6bhOiYAN
— Paul (@bingowings14) October 8, 2022
2.
SCAM ALERT – IMPORTANT
The cat has already been fed.
— Lev Parikian (@LevParikian) October 8, 2022
3.
I know everyone thinks Hemingway has the ultimate Six Word Story, but may I present
(Via https://t.co/XC3DlIXXC3 ) pic.twitter.com/faUQFgFhLJ
— Tony Hightower may have (@ThatTonyH) October 8, 2022
4.
Me, at 18: I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANNA DO
Me, at 40: I can do whatever 800mg of ibuprofen will allow me to do
— Juicy Free Healthcare (@Mom_Overboard) October 8, 2022
5.
i wanna meet the Tom that got an entire genre of foolery named after him
— just some guy 🏂 (@realaccountyeah) October 8, 2022
6.
Did you know? If you unravel the entire human digestive system and lay it in a straight line – you lose your job at the mortuary
— Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) October 8, 2022
6.
You have to question the modus operandi of people who use Latin for no reason.
— Bob Golen (@BobGolen) October 9, 2022
7.
Just found out that HP Sauce stands for 'Houses of Parliament Sauce'. Are we sure Britain is a real country? pic.twitter.com/EiFkysUsA1
— Alasdair Beckett-King (@MisterABK) October 11, 2022
8.
Man at the post office said "how's it going" n I replied "yeah good you" and he went "no I mean how you sending the parcel". wont be leaving my house for a while
— . (@_geeshaw) October 6, 2022
9.
Germans speaking English: Why does this language have no word for the feeling of having your toes licked by a grey kitten in autumn?
— Neil Friday McGourty (@Mcgourty22N) October 11, 2022
10.
Well, it took 29 years, but I finally watched the original Jurassic Park, a cautionary tale about understaffing your engineering department and letting people push code directly to prod.
— Stefan Friedli (@stfn42) October 9, 2022
11.
Me: *shows up to a gala in my pajamas*
Host: That’s not what I meant by evening wear.
— Lindsay (@Rollinintheseat) October 10, 2022
12.
Stop giving me dirty looks, lady. I wasn’t flirting with your husband. I was looking at his nachos.
— Killer Candy Corn (@sixfootcandy) October 10, 2022