25 favourite funny tweets of the week
It’s Friday, and you know what that means, don’t you? It’s three days to Monday. But, as well as that, it’s Tweets of the Week day, so find five minutes and give your stress levels a break.
1.
When i phone the hairdresser and they ask me to describe my hair type pic.twitter.com/0uJ51m2t9z
— Spooky Tombgremlin (@ZoeTomalin) October 23, 2022
2.
just went to tesco and saw a woman crying at the help desk because she’d lost her holiday money. I asked her if she was ok and gave her £100 out of my pocket. I wouldn’t normally but I’d just found two grand in the car park
— three stakes pam ♀️ (@alexandrakuri) October 23, 2022
3.
haha, if i’m supposed to be at work right now then how come my ancestors are calling me towards this really bright light because i ate some clams i found in the denny’s parking lot?
— Sunshine Jarboly (@SunshineJarboly) October 22, 2022
4.
I'm creating a new perfume for introverts.
It's called: Leave Me The Fu Cologne.
— mariana Z (@mariana057) October 23, 2022
5.
Netflix needs an “unwatch” button so you can watch the newest episode without getting caught
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) October 23, 2022
6.
Why does non alcoholic beer exist? Do people who manufacture it think we drink beer because of its taste?? We drink beer to message our ex at 2 am and tell her that we still miss her.
— karanbir singh (@karanbirtinna) October 23, 2022
7.
Me: Do we really have to share my dessert?
Her: Don’t worry, I eat like a bird. pic.twitter.com/GNzkgYrtVG— (@UnFitz) October 23, 2022
8.
If life gives you lemons, that's weird, how come you're getting free shit
— Boo! I'm Lu (@i_mthestorm) October 22, 2022
9.
When the spell is broken and you change back to human but your son born during the curse remains a cup. pic.twitter.com/sbdSBhB18k
— Matthew Frighton (@MattHighton) October 23, 2022
10.
my boss accused me of “quiet quitting” and it’s like, no i am not, i’m just genuinely bad at my job
— Robert Schultz (@_RobertSchultz) October 24, 2022
11.
I believe the main difference is that one will see you later and the other will see you in awhile. I could be wrong, I'm not a zoologist. pic.twitter.com/Jwp6gR5JkV
— jim rose circus (@jimrosecircus1) October 22, 2022
12.
I was a different person when I signed up for a 10k. A dumber person.
— jon drake (@DrakeGatsby) October 26, 2022