![](https://cdn.thepoke.com/uploads/2022/11/06013647/useless.jpg)
‘As useless as …’ – 19 hilariously descriptive put-downs
Over on Reddit’s r/AskUK forum, u/Ed_mutts_nuts asked –
What’s a good ‘As useless as?’
They added –
I love the English language and our creations. Someone came out with as useless as a woodpecker with rubber lips at a co-worker today. Cracked me up.
Any more really original ones?
Quite a few originals popped up, along with a few golden oldies.
1.
2.
A handbrake on a canoe
Wallygonk
3.
A fishnet condom.
Rich_b1982
4.
Fourand20milliondoors
Via
5.
A button on a sock.
Wallygonk
6.
An ejector seat in a Helicopter!
Secretdurham
7.
Lips on a chicken.
xowiejade
8.
A paper bag in a rainstorm.
Far-Fall-2913
9.
Sindud
Via
10.
A reversing camera on a bobsleigh.
OldChorleian
11.
Inflatable dartboard.
Raptors40k
12.
An ashtray on a motorbike.
loki_dd
13.
swimming_marsupial
Via
14.
Solar-powered flashlight.
willowwalloy
15.
Jelly set square.
Mugboard
16.
A snooze button on a smoke alarm.
mondo_the_bored
17.
The letter G in lasagne.
Jess-C-on-Reddit
18.
A one-toothed beaver in a petrified forest.
itspieflavor
19.
A cardboard chip pan.
helpfulcorgi5716
BONUS
u/Unique-Leaning5489 used a different format to convey the same sentiment.
They couldn’t pour water out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel.
READ MORE
17 of the most hilariously inventive takedowns from ‘Rare Insults’ on Twitter
Source r/AskUK Image Irina Kukuts on Pixabay, Sung Jin Cho on Unsplash