25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
The cold weather has kicked in with a vengeance, and those Christmas jumpers might get an early run out, as we all play the ‘How many layers can we wear and still move our arms?’ game.
Whether you’re avoiding leaving the house, having a tea break at work – just to hold a hot mug – or sitting on public transport questioning your failure to buy thermal undies, this collection of funny new tweets is a great distraction.
Give your favourites a retweet and maybe even follow them.
1.
Jesus meeting The Beatles (24 AD) pic.twitter.com/feQqD8hXSy
— No Context Brits (@NoContextBrits) December 4, 2022
2.
Just spent a thousand dollars ordering this to go in the kitchen, as a Christmas present for my wife, because as a writer I feel I should undergo a wide range of life’s experiences, and amazingly I haven’t yet been divorced. pic.twitter.com/VHzpYrKM79
— Michael Marshall Smith (@ememess) December 6, 2022
3.
Oh god, oh no pic.twitter.com/II3Hj4Imqg
— Even Spookier Non-Halloween Name (@onyxaminedlife) December 4, 2022
4.
Ok so "Dad's are assholes" isn't the PLOT of Star Wars, per se, but it's a theme.
— Stinky Think Tank (@stinkythinktank) December 3, 2022
5.
Stranger spotting me wearing a papoose: Right on! Real men shouldn’t be afraid to carry their baby in a papoose!
Me as I stroke the head of the hot water bottle wrapped in a blanket I have in my papoose: I love my baby
— Ignacio Lopez (@comedylopez) December 6, 2022
6.
Have decided to avenge all the years my people had to hear the phrase chai tea by asking for a burger sandwich every chance I get
— Shiv Ramdas Traing To Rite Buk (@nameshiv) December 4, 2022
7.
The Receptionist at the dentist office will look u dead in the eye and ask if ur available 4 months and 13 days from now
— Qadi (@BigQadi) December 5, 2022
8.
“you wanna know how i got these scars?” pic.twitter.com/785ipZS9Ju
— hi, i’m cory 👋🏾 (@burncoryburn) December 5, 2022
9.
I imagine online dating apps have seen an increase in people seeking someone with efficient central heating/oil central heating/own generator.
— Flups (@TheRealFlups) December 5, 2022
10.
Tough day of research pic.twitter.com/aOXGhzrZlK
— Ginny Hogan_ (@ginnyhogan_) December 6, 2022
11.
One of my main goals in life is to find the marijuana strain that helps me finally understand the Banana Splits …
— Super 70s Sports (@Super70sSports) December 5, 2022
12.
"I know there are 50 people in this room but here's a question that literally only pertains to me."
– people in meetings
— Matt Shirley (@mattsurely) December 7, 2022